Life has always its surprises--The Gifts from ALlah!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

ALlahu Waasi'un 'Aliim...

I am supposed to be working on writing my paper on "Standardisation of 'New' Varieties of English" now. The submission is on Monday but I still could not get my mind to focus. Until now I had went to make wudhu' more than 5 times apart from that to pray. I guess this is my first time I face problem like this one; not being able to generate ideas in writing academic paper. And this paper weighs 30 marks and the other another 30. ALlahu ALlah...

This morning... I didn't know what trigers me to actually cry, badly!

My phone rang and I saw 'Kak Long' on it. I've been waiting to talk to her since before the day Kak Teh flew back to India. I really feel down and sad cause I was not able to be with her in her hard times and not being able to send Kak Teh too. Since the first day Kak Teh was offered to study in Manipal I did not get the chance to send her off. I was thinking how bad I am for not being ale to be there for them. The ones who makes my life, their blood runs in me and mine in them. O ALlahu Ghaffar, I beg Your Forgiveness for not doing my responsibilities well as the daughter and sister in the family.

Kak Long called but it was not her on the line. The second I heard the voice my heart throbbed, tears gushed out my eyes. I couldn't help it...

"Assalamu'alaikum... Cik Na, ni 'Aqil... Cik Na tengah buat apa tu? Cik Na dah makan ke?"

I cried hard. I've been missing these lovely babies of her. My babies! O ALlahu Rahiim, Thank You, Thank You!

"Cik Na, kenapa nangis... Cik Na jangan nangis... Mama tanya Cik Na nak balik rumah Atok tak?

No words. Only sobs and tears. "Breathe," I said to myself. Tried to control my unstable emotions.

"Aqil, Cik Na rindu Aqil. Cik Na rindu Alya, mama..." tears ran down my cheeks again.

ALlahu Rahman, the guilt in me--Please forgive me.

I spoke to Kak Long. I know she's been going through a lot these days. Even her health is not in the very good condition. She was supposed to be admitted but she ignored the treatment thinking no-one will be taking care of her babies. [it should be me as I am the nearest to her, she lives in Batu Cave and I'm studying in Gombak yet not able to be there when she needs me... I'm sorry Kak Long, really I'm sorry... Kakak sayang Kak Long! Sungguh...;'(]

Kak Long, Kakak has been the worst sister to you. I was too selfish. I'm sorry. I really want to do everything for you but I just...

These are those in my plate, my heart and mind:

March 19-21

• Tamrin Nisa' Kebangsaan, Bukit Lagong

March 19

• Kak Teh's flight back to Mumbai, India
• Interview with Tuan Haji Asri, CEO GPM (internship)
• IYC Final Gathering
• Discussion 'Varieties of English'

March 21

• Malam Simfoni Gen5 PKPIM UIAM

March 22

• Perjumpaan Pimpinan PKPIM UIAM bersama Presiden ABIM Pusat, Sdr. Razak
• Deadline Term papers Varieties (2x30=60 Marks!)

March 23

• Birthday Adik Safiyya [my youngest sibling... Adik, I love you!]
• Morphology, 10 a.m.

March 24

• English Literature: 20th Century & Contemporary, 3 p.m.

March 26

• Arabic level 5, 3 p.m.
• Birthday Adik SPI... [Be strong for whatever comes, He Knows!]

March 30

• Varieties of English, 9 a.m.

April 4

• Intro to Sociology and Anthropology, 3 p.m.

April 8

• Science of Hadith, 3 p.m.

ALlahu Wasi'un 'Aliim, You know the best for me. Despite the fact that I always brag and whine and sighs a lot but deep inside I have always been reminded to have this big heart as You are my Creator, my Ilah; the one to whom my biggest hope and prayers goes and being fulfilled.

Anyway, You always surprised me with all the lovely things that brought ease and peace to my heart. Alhamdulillah

O ALlah give me strength to trudge along this path that I've chosen with SABR, TAQWA and LOVE for others.

And my lovely siblings, sorry for not being able to be the best, I will and always try to be though.

And my great supportive friends, thank you so much! Especially Nasriah, Nik Izyani, Kak Didi, Ecah, Lina, Shakina. You guys in a way or another made things easy for me. ALlah bless you.

K.A.M.I yang LIMA (Kak Dyll, Abg Syah, Yna and Adik) ... No words to say how grateful I am to have you guys around through ups and downs in the journey of this short life.

Norulhuda Ab. Wahab and Azhari Mohamed, you are my everything! Everything! ALlah, aku pohon segala yang baik, paling baik untuk mereka, di mana sahaja, bila-bila sehingga ketemu Mu di syurga nanti. Amiin

And all other colleagues, classmates and friends, please forgive me for my wrongdoings, shortcomings and inadequacy throughout this semester with you guys. ALlah bless you again and again and again inshaALlah!

ALlahu ALlahu, Ya Rabbul 'Izzah, bless everyone for their kindness and good heart, lead us with Your never ending Love and Light. Surely You are the Most Merciful, the Most Gracious.

[Jom sama-sama baca Suratus Shams dan tafsirnya, moga sentiasa dibesarkan hati, dimudahkan pekerjaan. Amiin. Pohon doakan yang terbaik untuk semua...]