15th May in Palestine: 76 years of Dispossession

This day 76 years ago marks the day Palestinians went through the first Nakbah (The Catastrophe), the atrocities and ethnic cleansing by the colonial regime Israel as the inception of its nation-state. The war crimes and terror subjected to the Palestinians since 1948 have killed, injured and displaced more lives than any other war we have witnessed in a century. Humanity is at a loss and justice is no where to be seen.

On this day, as we commemorate the first Nakbah of the Palestinians, of which the catastrophe is still ongoing as we speak, we must take a stand and call out the unjust and unlawful occupation by the Israelis government and its supporters and work towards putting a definite stop to Israeli impunity and barbaric war crimes. No children deserve to be maimed let alone killed. No mothers should mourn their lifeless babies. No fathers should search under the rubbles of their own homes to look for the families they have lost. Humanity must prevail!

Apart from condemning the genocide, we must in perpetuity demand for a ceasefire, for divestment and boycott on companies, institutions and governments who fund this atrocities. At the same time we should work together to give a multidimensional support over the Palestinians' cause for freedom and rights to defence. 

They are made refugees on their own land. Displaced and deprived. 

Palestinians have all the rights to exist as fellow human beings, to resist the occupation and injustices, and to safely return to their homeland. 

"From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free."

Do not love half lovers

Do not love half lovers

Do not entertain half friends
Do not indulge in works of the half talented
Do not live half a life and do not die a half death

If you choose silence, then be silent
When you speak, do so until you are finished
Do not silence yourself to say something
And do not speak to be silent

If you accept, then express it bluntly
Do not mask it

If you refuse then be clear about it
for an ambiguous refusal
is but a weak acceptance

Do not accept half a solution
Do not believe half truths
Do not dream half a dream
Do not fantasize about half hopes

Half a drink will not quench your thirst
Half a meal will not satiate your hunger
Half the way will get you no where
Half an idea will bear you no results

Your other half is not the one you love
It is you in another time yet in the same space
It is you when you are not

Half a life is a life you didn't live,
A word you have not said
A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know

To reach and not arrive
Work and not work
Attend only to be absent

What makes you a stranger to them closest to you
and they strangers to you

The half is a mere moment of inability
but you are able for you are not half a being

You are a whole that exists
to live a life not half a life

Kahlil Gibran

After more than a decade, I'm here again

Bismillah. It has been so long. A decade passed and life has evolved tremendously. Both for me and for you. No?

As for me, through these years, I have graduated with master degree in 2019 and now pursuing my PhD. Initially I studied PhD in Sociology at Ibn Haldun Universitesi, Istanbul back in 2022 fully funded by the university. Due to some hiccups I am now continuing my PhD at ISTAC-IIUM in the area of Peace and Security. Received a full scholarship here too but had to turn it down as I decided to take up a new responsibility as a civil servant. On a rough patch, I underwent divorce in 2021 while navigating through the new normals of Covid-19 pandemic and adjusting myself as a new 'mom of four'. I had to admit that it was tough and overwhelming. It broke me like never before. The ones who were with me through the storms knew how bad it was. I tried so hard to save the boat from sinking, but alone, I just couldn't do it. Albeit, I'm glad that everyone survived and that life has been good.

The past few years was challenging yet cultivating at the same time. I see myself growing into someone new at every turn. "We grow through what we go through", as the saying goes, embracing changes in life as it unfolds. While some elevates, some are just very humbling.

These changes, says Rumi, they are nothing but another temporary visitor with stories to tell and lessons to learn. They must all be welcomed and cherished. Even when they come knocking at your door handing out sadness and heartbreaks, misfortune and remorse. We must let them in, sit with them, listen them out, give love and show kindness. And when the time comes for them to leave, be sure to bid them farewell--in gratitude. They sure have enriched us in a way we could never have thought nor imagined.

Alhamdulillah ala kulli haal. Qadarallah wa ma sya faal. 

Thank you Allah.

Despite all the mishaps, I am blessed with these four precious gifts sent from above

P/s: Since I am back, let me know if there's anything you wished for me to write about. I am thinking of moving my #PearlsofUmmNoura here, but perhaps starting it anew. Drop a comment for suggestion if you're reading this.

For Mak & Ayah, with Love

IIUM 27th Convocation

10th October 2011

Ayah, Mak,

Terima Kasih atas segalanya.

Terutama dalam mendidik Kakak agar menjadi Muslimah Mu'minah sejati.

Semoga ALlah berkati kalian fiddunya wal aakhirah.

Salam Sayang,

Kakak

2:35 - 2:40

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

By: Edward Estlin Cummings


[Found this while doing revision on 'Stylistic in Poetry' with Nik Izyani and Kak Didi in (IIUM) Library, 22:00:00 April 7, 2011. Fallen in love with its lexical and semantic cohesions (with mine). ;)]

Hadiah

P.s.: Ada air mata yang menyimbah pipi... Sayang kamu!

Sweet... Aren't they?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

"A Muslim man can acquire no benefit after Islam greater than a Muslim wife who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and protects him when he is away from her in herself and in his property."

[Reported by An Nasa'i]

It has been narrated by Zaid Ibn Arqam that the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam stated, "Oh Zaid! Be wedded, for your purity will be further increased."

[Dailami: Imam Abu Hanifa]

ALlahua'lam

Getting A Message Across

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Dear Whom-This-May-Concern,

I know you've been a faithful reader here ever since we knew each other though you are not a follower.

One thing I really need you to understand is that things had changed for these past few years. I know you notice them. Please stop all the stalkings. And I beg you to stop all the pretenses too because I'm really not buying them. I had enough of 'saying one thing but means another'. Use all those figures of speech you may but things will never be the same.

You and I both know we are not having so many pep talks like we used to. We have now grown up to be someone so different from who we were.

We are friends. I never despise you. Never. Pray you'll always have a good life, a blessed and a blissful one. InshaALlah. Wishing you well in every good thing you do.

And this note, it never meant any harm. It's never easy for me to be a 'goody two-shoes' kinda person to even my besties. So here I am noting this down for you. Please understand.

May you stay safe and well.

Yours faithfully,
The Less Courageous

ALlahu'alam.

Three words: If you must

Give—
If you must; 

let go

Nothin’ in this life stays
Whether you like it or not
People leave (or die)
Memories fade

While the clock is still tickin’
Tell ‘em you love ‘em
Why worry 

when you have all to have and all to give

It goes for a circle;
What you give, you get back
What goes around comes around

Remember why you are here
And how you are here
And where you are goin’

after—here

Give—
If you must;
let go

Juliet

Still feels like the day when you looked straight into her eyes

and said:

“Thou art beautiful
Make me a man
Thou art perfect
Thou complete me”

Juliet,
was she

No more,
Dear Romeo

Romeo O Romeo,
It’s the way you left her
It’s the way you hesitated
It’s when you chose; not her!


Now that everything had changed
No she’s not gonna come back
No it’s not gonna work
No way it will
Anymore
No way


She was your Juliet--

Of wanting to be happy...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

It's been a while since I scribble my thoughts here. Even now I wish to write pages and pages of things that had happened in the past few months [the last entry I posted was in January] but don't think I'm able to do so just yet. [actually, I don't feel like doing it]

Well, had some fun doing this yesterday and I think I really have passion in it (photography). Hope to own one good DSLR in the future inshaALlah. ;)

[Special thanks to Azimah, Aisha, Azza, Aishah, Yana, and Nusantara Photography (Br. Ashraf, our instructor's studio) for this!]

Looking into the future, one thing for sure, life going to be so different soon. I'll be graduating in April then going to start work, pay the debt [pitipitipu!], and have some plan to travel the world too, inshaALlah. A lot of things to do while being young and able. They say; "Seize the day!"

Hmmm... Talking about life, anticipating that I'll be weeping a lot this week. Huhu. Went through hard times alone these days [proving to the world that I'm strong and independent but yet I think I fail] and now things getting harder and harder. Well, that's how we mature...

In Quran, there are many duas including this one that we can say during those hard times;

"Our Lord, grant us from Yourself mercy and prepare for us from our affair right guidance."
[Al Kahfi; QS 3:10]

Amiin, thumma amiin. Hoping that through these ups and downs, He will always be close to my heart no matter what.

Alhamdulillah, had the chance to visit Morocco in mid January for the 5th International Youth Gathering (IYG) organized by Union of NGOs in Islamic World (UNIW) which has its base in Istanbul, Turkey.

Visited some very beautiful places [especially the beaches!] including Casablanca, Rabat, Marrakech, Tangier and Fes. I miss Morocco and all the warm and lovely people; Renata, Ouissal, Khaoula, Wafa, Sevde, Sumeyye, Iman, Hetice, Seyme. Hope they are doing good. Hope we can meet again in Turkey this coming July for the 6th IYG.

And for my family here in Malaysia; including PPIWP, MRC 0809, JBDS, 5th IYG, may ALlah be with us and bless our lives with His Pleasure and Love. And may our ending be 'husnul khatimah' inshaALlah. Having you guys around get me stronger. And this one's for you, with love. :)

ALlahu'alam.

Not knowing

If I could tell you every second that 'iloveyou'
I would

If I could hold your hand and never let go
I would

If I could take you in my arm forever
I would

If I could just sit there, with you, watching the sun went up and down
together, with you, I would

You see, I would, I would

I would--

But then again

A shooting star

She waits to see

She hopes to be

But then again;

Daylight,

Sun's bright

The day stay gray

And she's looking,

wandering

Into the dream

So deep

So steep

Shooting star;

Her wishes,

Her disguise

But then again;

Morn,

Mourn--

NUR

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan kami

Sholawat dan salam mohon dilimpahi

Atas Nabi Muhammad Junjungan kami

Keluarga baginda turut disertai

Sholawat salam himpunan segala lisani

Hadhrat keluasan rahmatMu tak bertepi

Sholawat yang berkatnya kami dikurniai

Pertautan juga bantuan nurani

Dari jasmani Baginda Nabi

Dari hati Baginda Nabi

Dari ruh Baginda Nabi

Dari sir Baginda Nabi

Dari ilmu Baginda Nabi

Dari amal Baginda Nabi

Dari akhlak Baginda Nabi

Dari niat Baginda Nabi

Dari tawajjuh Baginda Nabi

Dari qashad Baginda Nabi

Terus ke jasmani kami

Terus ke hati kami

Terus ke ruh kami

Terus ke sir kami

Terus ke ilmu kami

Terus ke amal kami

Terus ke akhlak kami

Terus ke niat kami

Terus ke tawajjuh kami

Terus ke qashad kami

Serta Kau kembalikanlah Ya Rabbi

Keberkatan sholawat ini

Atas kami, atas keturunan kami,

Atas sahabat kami dan atas penghuni zaman kami

Ya Nur Ya Nur Ya Nur kami pohoni

Agar dijadikan kami satu nur menerangi

Demi haq an-Nur yang Maha Tinggi

اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد النبي الأمي وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم

Amiin, amiin Ya Allah.

Run along, will ya?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Dear Love,

I’m tired. Trying to hold up to so many falls and breaks. In every prayer there is always this line; "God, lift me up". Wish I could fly and just leave. And this one thing that really bothers me these days; the fact that you never leave.

Run along, will ya?

I'm trying to breathe here.
Let me, please.

Truly,
Heart.

ALlahu'alam.

Suatu Kecintaan, Seindah Kerinduan.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

ALlahu'alam

[Entah kenapa hati ini bagai merintih merayu ingin berjumpa. Salamun Salam 'alaika Ya HabibALlah.]

Just before it ends

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

The one man that will put me in long hard grievance if I were to lose him.
And this one man who if he's not around, I don't think I'll be around either.

This one man;
He knows everything about me. Even more than myself!
He who always be there to sooth my weary heart.
He who is there to comfort my uneasiness.
He who enlighten most of the confusions.
He who teaches me to go extra miles for others and have a big heart.
The man who wishes only the best for me.
The gentleman who loves me unconditionally.

49 years ago God sent him into this world.
And today he is a caring grandpa to three grandchildren, a loving father to eleven children, a dutiful supportive husband to a beautiful wife.

Azhari Mohamed,

You are the greatest dad one could ever wish for. Alhamdulillah... Thank you ALlah!

May ALlah make you amongst His martyrs and gather us in Jannah one day. Amiin...!

Truly from your clumsiest daughter among all;
Kakak.

~Ayah~

P.s.: I love you.

Proclamation of the soul

Dear you,

As I walked down the valley I decided to take your hand. I don't know who you really are but I have the strongest faith in you.
How Magical!

Until that time; I promised to hold on to you.
And until that time; I swear to God He is the only reason if I were to let go of your hand.

Yours,
I

P.s.: Down in that valley; along the road; we never know what's there waiting for us, do we?

Aidiladha: Satu Kekurangan Seribu Kelebihan

Semuanya tiada.

Tiada Jualan Murah.

Tiada Lagu Raya.

Tiada rancangan khas di televisyen.

Tiada mercun dan panjut menghias malam.

Segalanya tiada.

Ibu kota sunyi sepi. Tiada hiruk pikuk seperti menyambut ketibaan Syawwal. Apa yang sayup-sayup terdengar hanyalah Takbir. Di menara masjid, di surau-surau, di sesetengah rumah. Itu sahaja.

Tetapi, tidakkah itu semua suatu kelebihan?

Satu nikmat pada yang tiada. Aidil Adha tiba tanpa pesta dan hiburan. Hanya Takbir, Solat di hening Dhuha serta ibadah korban didukung jiran tetangga. Hakikatnya itulah makna sebuah Hari Raya. Hari membesarkan Allah, hari mencipta pahala, bukan hari melakar dosa.

Syukur pada-Mu ya Allah. Aidil Adha masih terpelihara. Masih jauh daripada pesta dan dosa. Moga kekal begitu hendaknya.

KEKURANGAN YANG SATU

Kekurangannya hanya pada yang satu.

Anak-anak tidak pulang ke desa.

Jika ada pun, mungkin di hari kedua. Kerana komitmen kerja dan tanggungjawab yang tidak mengenal Raya. Kampung halaman kurang menerima kepulangan anak kota.

Namun…

Andai kekurangan itu membolehkan anak-anak menjadi soleh dan terhindar daripada dosa, maafkanlah kekurangan itu duhai sang ayah, duhai sang bonda. Mungkin takbir Aidil Adha sedikit sepi daripada gelak tawa mereka, tetapi jika dengan itu anak-anak bisa lebih patuh kepada yang Esa, maafkanlah kekurangan itu.

Anak yang akan memanjangkan doa selepas matimu, bukan semestinya anak yang selalu pulang, andai pulangnya membawa dosa. Anak yang doanya didengar Tuhan, bukan semestinya anak yang pulang dengan hilai tawa kegembiraan, andai ketawa itu hanya menjauhkan keluarga daripada-Nya.

Anak yang doanya didengar Tuhan, adalah anak yang soleh, anak yang patuh kepada Tuhan. Biar pun di Aidil Adha mereka dan ibu bapa terpisah berjauhan.

Ibrahim jauh daripada keluarganya. Hajar dan Sarah sering jauh daripada suami mereka. Ismail dan Ishak sering berjauhan daripada ayahanda, namun rumahtangga itu memancarkan sejuta kehebatan. Biar tubuh terpisah di ufuk mentari, semuanya hampir, dekat di hati.

Jauh adalah pada jauhnya semua daripada-Nya.

Dekat adalah pada intimnya kita mendampingi Dia.

Justeru pada satu kekurangan di Aidil Adha, maafkanlah anakanda yang kejauhan.

Kerana mungkin dalam kekurangan itu, doa si anak lebih didengar Tuhan.

Maafkan kami wahai ayah dan bonda.

Ampunkan kami wahai Tuhan yang Maha Memaafkan.

ABU SAIF @ www.saifulislam.com
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